Putting my kid in his place

Scott's a pretty mellow fellow. For the most part, he has a happy disposition, and he gets along well with people.

But he's also -- apparently -- decided to start tapping into his more-aggressive-I-am-going-to-take-no-prisoners-side.

I think age has a lot to do with it.
Scott moved to "Room 2" at daycare (for young toddlers 13-18 months) when he was barely 11 months old. He wasn't even walking. For a long time, he was the little guy. The small kid. The one who sort of had to deal with being bossed around.

And its that way outside of school too (big cousin Peyton, at the ripe age of 2) is not afraid to tell him where to sit, which bib to wear, which toy is hers and how and when to color.

And usually he listens and goes with the flow.

Until recently, that is. At 17-months, he can old his own. He's not the oldest kid in his class, but he's one of the biggest. And he's flexing his muscles. He's now apparently opening a can of whoop-ass on the other kids in his daycare room when they take his toys, or even play with a toy HE decides HE wants.

My mom went to pick him up the other day and he was standing in a crib, in a temporary "time out" for being aggressive. A follow-up conversation with his teachers yielded this note:

We've had a little trouble with Scott. He's being sort of an instigator. Pushing, taking toys. Hitting. And I don't know who started it, but now he and a couple of other kids think its fun to "sit" on the smaller children.

He may LOOK angelic, but behind that small is a bit of a hell-raiser.

Um. Okay. Getting into a little tug of war over a toy, I can handle. Sitting on smaller children and pinning them to the ground? Not cool.

Scott is a stubborn bugger, and time outs aren't always effective - he thinks they are a game. So we've employed a whole host of tactics to quell his sudden spate of bad behavior. They include:

1. Having his teachers take his prized Elmo toy when he walks in the room and put on a shelf. If he shares or behaves nicely, he gets it back as a reward.

2. Changing our tone of voice to "Mean, angry mommy//daddy sounds" when he does something bad. This is effective about half the time. The other 50 percent, he doesn't care.


3. The biggie: Temporary "day bumps" to Room 3 at daycare, where the kids are between 18 months and roughly 24 months old.

In other words: throwing the tiny fish into a pond of bigger, badder fish.

Yes, we've given our kid some comeuppance, 'cause now he's no longer long big boy on the block. Those toddlers are taller, faster, stronger, and can SIT ON HIM, if he they choose.

Not that I'd advocate that of course.

Postscript: Picked Scott up at 5:30 and he did GREAT in the bigger kid room. Slept on a cot (not in a crib) for the first time, and took a 2.5 hour nap! The teacher also told me, "Yeah, NONE of the kids picked on him. Sometimes, they go after the new, little ones, especially if they sense they are a little hesitant or scared or shy. But he acted like he'd been here forever and fit in great."


Yippee! And, most importantly, Scott didn't do any bullying either. Go Tank! Welcome to Room 3! Hopefully there will soon be a spot for you there permanently. 

The Ladies' Man

It's been almost one month since I last blogged. Between the holidays, a move, a trip out of town, and a new job at work, I've been way too busy to write.

(Check back soon for pics and thoughts on our trip to the Caribbean, our Christmas holiday and finally being in our new house.)

But this...this was too good. I had to type up a quick post.

I've always known (in a completely non-biased, non-helicoptery parent kind of way) that I had a cute kid. I also discovered shortly after his birth that the little girls agreed with me.

And now I know Scott, well, Scott is just like his daddy: he likes the ladies.

According to his daycare teachers, Scott has developed a new routine during group story time and milk time. He'll sit on the floor with the other kids, usually next to one of the little girls in the class.

Then, he'll face forward, look shyly to the side, face forward again, and then scoot an inch or two closer to the nearest girl.

A few seconds later, another face forward, another look, another scoot.

Apparently he inches himself over three or four times until he's positioned himself right next to his closest "girlfriend."

I say closest girlfriend, because apparently, my child doesn't play favorites. He runs his game on several of the little girls in the room.

As I said: like father, like son.
(And I know secretly Jim has never been more proud.)

Scott charms an older woman at a local restaurant. He approached, smiled and batted his eyes. She was immediately hooked.

We've got spirit!

Yes we do! That's 'cause Jim and I are big joiners.
Well, I am anyway.

So when Scott's daycare announced that they had organized a week long "Spirit Week," I was eager to participate...or rather, have Scott participate.

Each day featured a different theme, and Scott was decked out in grand fashion. See for yourself:

MONDAY: Sports Team Day (He looked so cute, representing both Mommy and Daddy's alma mater, I had to post two pics!)

TUESDAY: Hawaiian Day

(Scott wasn't feeling particularly cooperative.)

WEDNESDAY: Crazy Hair/Hat Day. (Seriously, this one was my absolute favorite. There was no way I was putting a hat on Scott when I had such beautiful natural curls to work with.)

THURSDAY: Decade Day. (No picture of this one, sadly. But Scott was sporting his "Wingman" shirt - an ode to one of my all time 80s movies - Top Gun!)


FRIDAY: Pajama Day. (This shot was taken after Tank came home...while he was "helping" me make my husband's birthday cake. And yes, I did remember to put the pajama bottoms on him when I brought him to school.)

Embracing the sippy

Sadly, I have neglected my poor little blog these past weeks.
August has been crazy - and being in the final days of the big countdown to Scott's 1st Birthday hasn't helped. For those keeping track...we're one week away. It's crunch time people.

But lest you all think Scott has failed to provide me with material for a new post...here's a brief update:

About three months ago Jim and I took the big step of introducing our Tank to the sippy cup, based on our pediatrician's recommendation. She warned he might not take to it right away, but said giving it to him early -- with a bit of water at meal and snack times -- might allow him to get used to it slowly.

Slowly, as it turned out, was an understatement. Turtles grasp new tasks more quickly. Of course, in Tank's case, I think it was pure stubborness.

Scott was quick to drink out of the cup, but only if Jim or I held it up to his mouth. If left to his own devices, he flung the sippy over his head, across the room, or used it as a makeshift drum/noisemaker on his high chair tray.

Weeks passed. We spent a small fortune on learner cups, cups with straws, cups with handles, cups without straws and without handles, cups shaped like bottles. At one point I think we had seven different sippys in the house.

If one didn't work, I put it in the back of the cabinet, and tried another - usually to no avail.

As Scott approached his first birthday, our desire to get him to even TRY to use the sippy cup increased. With daycare moving him to the toddler room, it became even more urgent to make some marked progress - Tank is the youngest one there, and the only one still using the bottle.

So like all good mommies these days, I turned to social networking. The general consensus on Facebook was to either switch him cold turkey or try a sippy with a soft/silicone spout, since that is most similar to the bottle.

As luck would have it, we had one - back from when we first bought out the sippy cup store. I gave it to Scott, and he instantly threw his head back and drank -- like a natural.
Fast forward a week, and he now routinely downs 5 oz of milk or water from one of three or four rotating cups with ease.

Yay Scott!

Of course...he still reverts occasionally.

Scott the Bruiser

So I went to pick up Scott from daycare today, and was greeted with this note on the infant classroom bulletin board:

Moving to Room 2 (Toddler):
Scott Rough - 8/15 (parent notification letter not yet sent)

Umm...whaat?

How could my Tank possibly be headed to the big kid toddler room in a mere two weeks? It was my understanding the babies didn't "graduate" until they were at least 12-13 months old AND walking.

Scott is neither, though he tries - a lot - on the walking part. And he will be only 11-months-old when he moves up.

I said as much to Scott's teacher when I saw the note. She tactfully and kindly explained to me that Scott was now one of the older babies in his classroom. There are, she admitted, a couple who are older, but his teachers thought "he was more ready than they are" to head next door.

Hmmm. I called Jim, and not surprisingly, he was thrilled with this news. I believe his exact response went something like "hahahahahahaha. That's MY boy!"

Okay then.

I took this unexpected development a little harder.

I think it's because (and I am blatantly stealing from my friend Meghan's blog here, because frankly she expressed it perfectly in a recent post) I still mentally picture Scott like this:

In mommy's mind, I am still a two month old with a binky. Seriously mom?!?!?

But in reality, he looks like this:

Yes. This is me. The big kid. Get used to it.

And even though Scott has lately been exhibiting all the signs of early onset toddler behavior, I still wondered if he would be able to keep up with a group of kids mostly between 14 and 18 months of age.

I expressed this concern out loud to Miss Hannah.

Her response?

"Don't worry. He's a tough kid. He can definitely hold his own."

Hmmm... Is it me, or does that sound like my Tank might be a non-stop force of destruction who is climbing over or knocking aside anything and anyone in his path?

For the record, Miss Hannah also didn't contradict me when I (somewhat jokingly) said, "So basically you're saying my kid is the diesel engine in the infant room?"

She just laughed and handed me Scott and then my diaper bag.

And so to the toddler room we go.

Some advice: 'Crawl quickly, pull things off shelves and bang a big wooden spoon as loud as you can, and you too can leave those little babies behind."

Making a first impression, but not the kind I'd hoped

Today is Scott's first day at his new "school."

It did not start off with a bang. Rather, it began with a giant sneeze and an embarrassing glob of snot. More on that later.

Jim and I decided to switch Scott to the new daycare two weeks ago, after repeated problems getting him to nap at his old facility.

His teachers were very nice, but the school didn't have a dedicated quiet time, and we were tired of having a uber-fussy baby at dinner and bedtime every night.

We also were starting to suspect that Scott was spending a lot of time playing by himself because he's a pretty mellow and happy kid, and the caregivers always seemed to have their hands full with three or four little -- always fussy, always crying -- infants. Most of the time when I picked him up he was quietly sitting on the floor by himself.

We didn't make the decision lightly. The new place is nowhere near downtown - its northeast of our house, which means either Jim or I have to leave work at 5:15 in order to pick him up before closing time.

But we think (hope) the positives about Scottsdale Learning Center  will outweigh the negatives (mainly the commute). First, all the kids in Scott's room are between eight months and 12 months, so they are all at the same approximate place developmentally. Second, they have a very structured schedule, including two dedicated nap times. Morning nap time runs from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., the afternoon is from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m..
They dim the lights, put on soothing music, and all the babies play quietly or sleep in their cribs or the swings.

And finally, each day they work with the babies on a specific targeted skill. Learning activities include 'practicing bye-bye waves', walking, ABCs, 123s, colors, and so on.

So it was with great anticipation this morning that I greeted Scott. "Are you ready to go to your neeeww school?" I cooed, expecting a big happy smile in return.

What looked up at me instead was a snotty, rosy cheeked, warm, and unhappy looking baby.

Uh oh. 

I had hoped Scott would make a great first impression on his teachers and fellow students by wowing them with his newfound walking skills, his bang, bang, bang antics, and happy grin.

Instead, they got a fussy, teething, sick kid who looked like his world was coming to an end when I dropped him off.

Scott with Miss Kat. Rarely have I seen my son look so abjectly miserable. Welcome to your new school, buddy.

I kissed Scott's cheek and snuck guiltily away as other parents dropped off their children. I could almost hear them saying: "Nice. So you are THOSE parents who enroll at a new school and automatically shower all of our kids with snot and germs."

Trying to determine the over-under odds on Scott getting sent home from his new school on his very first day.

(Day 1 addendum: Scott did NOT get sent home, and he took a two hour afternoon nap! Yay!)

My poor baby has Croup

We knew it was going to happen...the inevitable first bout with illness. But that didn't make it any less awful when I picked up my raspy, coughing, wheezing baby from daycare Friday evening.
The child who seemed fine at noon was most certainly not at 6 p.m.

A frantic phone call to good friend and mommy expert Alia, and a few minutes later, I knew: Scott had croup. The horrid, barking cough that made him sound like a hungry seal was too distinctive to be anything else.

I tried to make Scott feel better with a steamy stint in the bathroom with shower running full-blast, with a warm bath, with a bottle. Nothing seemed to work. So I put him to bed, hoping he would get a little bit of sleep.

When Jim came home from work he was horrified at how terrible Scott sounded (the baby had woken up less than 90 minutes after we put him in the crib.) We discussed whether to bring him to urgent care and decided to ride out the night.

Jim rocked Scott back to sleep and took the first shift. I went to bed and got 2 or 3 hours of sleep before we switched off. Good thing too...Scott woke up around 2:30 and didn't sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time for the rest of the night.

He'd doze off in his swing, only to be awakened by that hacking, barking cough. Then he'd cry. So we'd go into the bathroom and sit in the steam and I'd rock him back to sleep. Eventually, I just decided it was easiest to stay in his room with him, so I spent the night on the floor, sleeping fitfully at the foot of his swing.

By 7:30, Jim and I were up and dressed. The pediatrician's office opened at 8 a.m. and we were determined to be the first ones there.

Holding Scott upright helps ease his cough; Daddy tries to make him comfortable while we wait to see the doctor.

At the pediatrician's office; waiting for the steroid shot.

We got to the doctor's office at 8:01 a.m. Jim says next time, we'll arrive at 7:55. We were the third ones there, and had to wait about 30 minutes to get in. But we were lucky; by 8:15 there were 15 kids in the waiting room, including another infant who had a similarly distinctive cough.

The on-call doctor - who was fantastic - diagnosed Scott with croup on sight and was very good at explaining what was wrong with our little Munchkin. Basically, Scott had come down with some kind of virus -- perhaps a cousin of the flu virus, maybe RSV. Instead of staying in his nose and head and causing the typical sneezy, runny, congested, earache type symptoms, it burrowed in his upper respiratory tract, where it caused his airways, including his larynx, to inflame and swell. The condition, called larynotracheosomethingorother is what is causing his difficulty breathing and wheezing.

Unfortunately, antibiotics won't work; because its a virus, we just have to ride it out. But they did give Scott a steroid shot and a prescription for a different kind of steroid, which will hopefully lessen the swelling and make him more comfortable.

Our little guy is a trooper - he's hanging in there. But the pediatrician said to expect another long couple of nights, complete with steam showers, and humidifiers and raspy coughing. Jim's set up an air mattress in the baby's room, so the "on-call" person doesn't have to sleep on the floor. We also have to leave Scott out of daycare for the early part of next week until he stops sneezing and coughing and spreading germs around. Hoping he gets over this very, very soon. In the meantime, he's getting lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles from mommy.

The air mattress we've got in Scott's room, since he's waking up so frequently.

Putting on a brave face, post doctor, and showing off where we got the shot.

School Days

When I got pregnant, one of my biggest projects was thinking ahead to the time when Jim and I would need to put Scott in daycare (or "baby storage") as my verbally-challenged husband called it.

As much as I wanted to stay home with Scott full-time, I knew it just wasn't feasible. And part of me knows that I need to get out of the house, to work, to interact with other adults. I am just not ready to give up my career.

So the search for an appropriate daycare began. I looked online, asked friends for recommendations, researched the cost of a private nanny (Note: WAAAY expensive) and spent hours scouring the Department of Health Services website (its the state agency that regulates child care centers). I ultimately eliminated 90 percent of the possibilities based on some of the scary things I read in those reports.

Jim and I decided we wanted Scott close to downtown so we would both be easily able to drop him off or pick him up. We finally settled on TutorTime after multiple visits. It's close to both of our offices and has an open-door policy that means I can stop in on my lunch hour or any other time that I want. It's also open until 6:30, which is helpful, given the regularity with which the Governor's Office issues news releases post 5 p.m.

But the fact that I had chosen this facility didn't make it any easier the first time I had to actually leave my precious baby there. I dropped him off and then sat in the parking lot and cried for a good 10-15 minutes.

Fortunately, Scott has a great crew of teachers and he seems happy there. He smiles when he sees them in the morning. And he spends a lot of time curiously watching the other kids in his "class."

Checking out his friend Addison. She's always sick, though, so I am trying to discourage close contact. But she seems to really like our little Tank.

Scott and Miss Laura

But I'd be lying if I didn't say that I still have mixed feelings about daycare. I feel guilty sometimes leaving him with a bunch of strangers. I worry that no one - no matter how much experience they have or how kind they are - will take care of him like I would. They certainly won't love him like I do. But I also have started to see positive changes in Scott in just the short time he's been there. He sleeps better in his crib at night and during nap time, he can occupy himself with his toys for longer periods without needing us to entertain him. And I think, as he gets older, he will learn valuable socialization skills, how to share, and to develop the confidence that will allow him to comfortably be away from mommy and daddy for short periods of time.

And I love that his teachers, Miss Laura and Miss Bridget, are so willing to tailor activities to things that are important to me. The classroom had almost no books when I brought Scott in...so I took several of his down to the school. Now his teachers read to him every day - just like I do at home - and every night I get a report card with details on what book was read, what major muscle development and motor skills Scott worked on...even how much he ate and when.

Playing with one of the many books in his classroom.

Floor time with Miss Laura and (from left to right) Dominick, Adam and Reyna.

Scott is still having trouble napping at daycare. It's just too bright and noisy, so he sleeps in 30 minute stretches, which means he is a very tired little boy when he gets home. But we're all adjusting to the new routine.

And I think he's learning to really really appreciate those special days when his Grandma(s) watch him, and the weekends when mommy and daddy dote on him from the time he gets up in the morning until he goes to sleep at night.

And yes...we're still waiting for the first daycare induced illness. Addison: please do not sneeze or cough on my son.