I am a master interpreter

Scott is babbling non-stop now (I think he gets it from his mama.)

And most of the time, I actually know what the hell he's talking about. Note: I said most. As in, sometimes he still stumps me and then gives me a look like I am a ginormous idiot when I stare at him blankly.

I am very proud of myself, actually. Used to be, when I was around my friends' small kids, they'd say something in their garbled tongue and I'd look at them like they were speaking Mandarin.

And I'd be amazed when their mother would immediately translate, "Oh, she wants you to play tea party with her." Or, "He's offering you some of his crackers."

I wondered how the hell they knew what their kids were saying. Now I know. Its a skill. A skill acquired from long hours of faking it -- nodding like you know what your toddler is talking about -- until you actually figure out what your toddler is talking about.

So for anyone who might have an encounter with my son, here's a guide to what I like to refer to as "Scott-speak."

Toose:
This one is critical. It refers to one of two things - his shoes, or his ever-present, always running, Fisher-Price mechanical drill, hammer and tool set. (He has a tendency to leave these items all over the house and patio, which means a lot of treasure hunting for mommy and daddy.)
The good news is, you've got a 50-50 shot of getting which one he wants right. And if you hand him the wrong one, he'll shove your hand away and say, "NO! and repeat "Toose!"
Immediately go fetch the other.

"Where Daddy go?" 
This is pretty obvious. Problem is, he never understands the answer. No matter what you say (Daddy's at the store, Daddy's at work), he'll still wander from room to room, arms up at his side, repeating it...over and over and over.
Sometimes, Daddy is actually at home, but say, in the bathroom. Doesn't matter. Scott will find him. There is no such thing as privacy when he asks, "Where Daddy go?"

"Daddy Toose." 
This refers to any and all items that belong to Jim that are inherently dangerous, should be out of reach, and that Tank has an incredible knack for finding. The kid is constantly handing me nails, screwdrivers, staplers, foil cutters and drills. When Jim is working in the yard, Scott always wants to be by his side...and he immediately heads straight for the shovel, rake or the very large shearing thing that could easily cut off one of his fingers in about 2.6 seconds. Without fail. Every time.

"Mouse."
This refers to his stuffed Mickey Mouse, which he insists on carrying with him to breakfast every morning, along with his stuffed Elmo and his stuffed "fishie," (which is really a stuffed Nemo -- like from the movie) that he sometimes calls "Elmo." Just you know, to really confuse you.

"Mote Mouse." 
This means "I want to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" (like NOW. STAT.) so I can laugh and drive you crazy as I listen to that stupid "Hot Dog Dance" song over and over and over again.

"Nack."
At first I thought this was neck. I was wrong. It means snack. Usually of the goldfish or teddy graham variety. And you better find it fast.

"Cheers." 
Scott likes to clink glasses at every meal time and snack time. Typically we must do this at least three or four times during a sitting. And it does not count unless every person participates. Fine if there's 3 of us. At family dinners with 8 or more people, you watch your food grow cold while you knock glasses back and forth.
Scott also thinks its funny to hit the glasses really hard now, and to try to make Daddy's wine slosh on the table.

"Morh"
This means more. That's pretty obvious. But he never tells you more of what. Have fun guessing.

"Pees."
Nope, we aren't talking about the green round vegetable here. Scott prefers to pretend those don't exist. This is please, and he is saying it consistently -- albeit with prompting. Yay!

"Tu-Tu."
 Scott's version of thank you, which I somehow find utterly hilarious and adorable.  He says it with prompting, though he sometimes gets confused and says "Pees" after you give him something. (As a side note, Scott now says "Bless you" whenever I sneeze. I did not teach him this, but I love the person who did, because its the most endearing thing ever.)

"Fu**"
The first time he said this, I was deeply concerned. Then I realized he was pointing proudly at a cute green frog in one of his pop-up books. This word is now used interchangeably to also mean "Fork." Needless to say, we don't bring any stuffed frogs with us when we are out and about and try to make sure there's always multiple utensils handy so Scott never actually has to ask for a fork in public.

A couple other random tidbits of news:

Scott scored his first swimming "ribbon" this month, after mastering the ever-so-complicated (and competitive) skill known as "monkey crawling." In this activity, our hero, shimmies along the wall of the pool, hand over hand, until he reaches the stairs, then climbs his way out.

Doesn't he look proud?

Also: Jim and I got BIG NEWS this week. Scott is going to be a big brother...to a LITTLE SISTER! That's right, Rough-baby-to-be is a girl.Scott hasn't quite yet gotten the concept of a new sibling, but he does know there is a baby in my tummy and he will give his sister a kiss when asked.