How else to explain the incredible frequency with which he has been bitten this past month? Three times last week, including twice in one day (in the span of 90 minutes, by two different kids no less) and again this morning.
Houston, we have a problem.
At first, I tried to be chill about it. After all, biting is common among the 13 to 24 month old set, right? Then, I figured, maybe Scott and one other kid just have a "thing." After, all, the same little girl was responsible for at least two, and possibly three, of the bites in the past 30 days.
But then a second kid bit him on Friday, and a third this morning. In each instance, the teachers told me the bites were "unprovoked" - that they couldn't pinpoint any specific behavior on Scott's part that would have precipitated the incident.
Unfortunately, Scott is now starting to show signs of trepidation and hesitation when we bring him to daycare. Worse yet, the school called today and told me that he had been acting out all morning, that he was behaving aggressively...pushing, hitting, taking toys from other kids.
That's not his normal personality. Yes, he sometimes struggles with sharing, but he's normally a pretty exuberant, happy-go-lucky, sweet kid.
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| This is the happy, playful Scott I know...pushing, shoving, hitting other kids? That's not like him, and mommy does NOT want it to become a habit. |
While I could chalk his behavior up to being a "toddler," or him just having an off day, I worry its indicative of a bigger problem - an unhappiness in his daycare classroom, with his teachers, his environment.
There's a lot of kids in there, and it always feels chaotic. The school, recognizing there's an issue too, moved him up to Room 4 today.
That classroom is for mostly 2-year-olds, so the kids are mostly 6-12 months older than Scott, and are much more verbal. The setting is more structured, and the children more capable of using words to express sadness, frustration, anger.
I stopped by unannounced this afternoon, and stood outside the classroom and spied on him through the door for more than half an hour. Overall, I think he did pretty well. He seemed a little unsure of himself, a little more cautious and hesitant than usual. But in general, he held his own.
I was impressed with the amount of interaction the teachers had with the children. (Especially compared with his current classroom, where I always got the sense they treated it more like a "job").
I watched Miss Alyssa firmly tell Scott and a couple of other kids to "share" on multiple occasions. She even got them to pass toys back and forth that they had previously been fighting over.
A few minutes later, Scott was with an older boy on the far side of the classroom. The kid turned away for a second, and Scott seized the opportunity to grab a stuffed toy train he'd been coveting for quite some time. The older kid took it back and then proceeded to bop Scott repeatedly over the head with it.
The teacher was up in a flash, marched over to the other child, gently but firmly disciplined him and then made him give Scott a make-up hug.
So we're going to try keeping him with the older kids for a while and see if it helps.
The situation is beyond frustrating. I struggle with how best to approach it, fix it. I don't want my child to be repeatedly bitten. I want him to feel safe at school.
But I also don't want him to develop bad habits and behavioral issues of his own. The last thing I want is for him to lash out in anger and become the bully of the classroom.
If anyone else out there has dealt with this or has thoughts, boy, I'd sure love to hear them.
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