Putting my kid in his place

Scott's a pretty mellow fellow. For the most part, he has a happy disposition, and he gets along well with people.

But he's also -- apparently -- decided to start tapping into his more-aggressive-I-am-going-to-take-no-prisoners-side.

I think age has a lot to do with it.
Scott moved to "Room 2" at daycare (for young toddlers 13-18 months) when he was barely 11 months old. He wasn't even walking. For a long time, he was the little guy. The small kid. The one who sort of had to deal with being bossed around.

And its that way outside of school too (big cousin Peyton, at the ripe age of 2) is not afraid to tell him where to sit, which bib to wear, which toy is hers and how and when to color.

And usually he listens and goes with the flow.

Until recently, that is. At 17-months, he can old his own. He's not the oldest kid in his class, but he's one of the biggest. And he's flexing his muscles. He's now apparently opening a can of whoop-ass on the other kids in his daycare room when they take his toys, or even play with a toy HE decides HE wants.

My mom went to pick him up the other day and he was standing in a crib, in a temporary "time out" for being aggressive. A follow-up conversation with his teachers yielded this note:

We've had a little trouble with Scott. He's being sort of an instigator. Pushing, taking toys. Hitting. And I don't know who started it, but now he and a couple of other kids think its fun to "sit" on the smaller children.

He may LOOK angelic, but behind that small is a bit of a hell-raiser.

Um. Okay. Getting into a little tug of war over a toy, I can handle. Sitting on smaller children and pinning them to the ground? Not cool.

Scott is a stubborn bugger, and time outs aren't always effective - he thinks they are a game. So we've employed a whole host of tactics to quell his sudden spate of bad behavior. They include:

1. Having his teachers take his prized Elmo toy when he walks in the room and put on a shelf. If he shares or behaves nicely, he gets it back as a reward.

2. Changing our tone of voice to "Mean, angry mommy//daddy sounds" when he does something bad. This is effective about half the time. The other 50 percent, he doesn't care.


3. The biggie: Temporary "day bumps" to Room 3 at daycare, where the kids are between 18 months and roughly 24 months old.

In other words: throwing the tiny fish into a pond of bigger, badder fish.

Yes, we've given our kid some comeuppance, 'cause now he's no longer long big boy on the block. Those toddlers are taller, faster, stronger, and can SIT ON HIM, if he they choose.

Not that I'd advocate that of course.

Postscript: Picked Scott up at 5:30 and he did GREAT in the bigger kid room. Slept on a cot (not in a crib) for the first time, and took a 2.5 hour nap! The teacher also told me, "Yeah, NONE of the kids picked on him. Sometimes, they go after the new, little ones, especially if they sense they are a little hesitant or scared or shy. But he acted like he'd been here forever and fit in great."


Yippee! And, most importantly, Scott didn't do any bullying either. Go Tank! Welcome to Room 3! Hopefully there will soon be a spot for you there permanently. 

Movin' on up...

The Rough family has relocated...a few miles...yes, to the "eastside."

Translation: We've switched from Phoenix to Scottsdale.

And by a few miles, I really do mean a few miles. 6.3 miles, according to Google maps.

Jim and I decided to take advantage of the current real estate market and low interest rates and buy a new place that we could make our own.

We got a semi-fixer upper for a scorching price in a beautiful neighborhood, next to a pretty public park with a playground, soccer fields, and nearby horse properties.

Moving in has been a long time coming. We put the offer in way back in October, but the closing was delayed...and delayed again, partly because the sale had to be approved by the courts.

We finally closed on December 23, and then promptly left town for a week. By the time we returned to Phoenix on New Year's Eve, we realized we had exactly four days to pack up and move all of our accumulated possessions to the new abode.

In that time, we also had to get a deep cleaning done on the new house, carpets cleaned on our old house, floors stripped and re-sealed on the new property, cleaning done on the old property and sign a bunch of paperwork to rent out the place I bought when I moved out here back in 2003.

I seriously wanted to tear my hair out.

It was so insane that Scott and I actually crashed at my mom and dad's for two (or was it three?) nights because Jim and I didn't have time to get a crib set up in the new place.

Coming on the heels of a week-long, 3-city trip where we spent the holidays with Jim's family, well, that meant my poor Tank slept in six different beds in the span of about 9 nights.

No bueno.

But....we're starting to feel a bit more settled.

A semi-fixer upper comes with a whole series of headaches, including 30-year-old kitchen appliances that don't work, an unmaintained roof that leaks, a broken garage door, a non-existent irrigation system (and hence, semi-dying trees), a three-decade old pool with somewhat functioning equipment that is not fenced and way too accessible to an always-on-the-go toddler, outdated fixtures, horrid paint and a random assortment of plumbing and electrical issues that have a tendency to strike at inopportune times.

The first month has been somewhat stressful and hellish - but we've gotten through it.

The garage door and roof have been repaired, there's a new sprinkler system providing water to the trees, a nice secure fence surrounding the pool and new stainless steel appliances in the kitchen.

We've made enough progress that I can now start to focus on all that we've gained - an extra 1,100 square feet, a 1-acre lot where Scott can roam and play, a more open, modern living space with vaulted ceilings and a kitchen island that's perfect for entertaining, an extended three car garage, and a beautiful, safe neighborhood that feeds into top-rated public schools.

This place is also special because its the first - and likely only - house Jim and I will purchase together. This is the house we will make our home, where we (I hope) will grow old and raise our children. And I love that.

And Scott has proved that once again he's adaptable - a total champ.

After two or three restless nights, he settled into his new big boy nursery/room with ease. And he loves roaming the backyard, and the new patio, which is, by the way, big enough to hold his new "bbq grill" and outdoor playhouse.

So here's a few pics (finally) of our Home Sweet Home.

Front of the new house. Love the circular drive.

Roof repair...admit it, you are jealous of our big green dumpster.

Scott entertains himself by playing in the new cabinets on moving day.

Three days later... the crib is set up, and he's enjoying his new Lego table.

Good thing bulk trash pickup is a monthly service!

While Jim "fixes," I decorate. Had a blast creating this monkey mural in Scott's new bathroom.

We have two of these floor to ceiling brick fireplaces - one in the family room, and this one, in the master bedroom. LOVE them.

Our redone family room. The new rug cuts down on the echo from the saltillo tile.

Jim's "man cave." A built-in wet bar, with sink, margarita machine and bar fridge.

More decorating. Our new family photo gallery.

The new removable, mesh pool fence mid-way through construction.

Scott checks out his new digs from his backyard playhouse.